We are not who they say we are

My "Her"story (as posted on "When I am Her" - the link is on the right)

2011-06-29T01:36:00.000-07:00

When I was asked by Alena to write about my “HER”, I thought all I had to do was look into my mirror and “Tadaaa!", there she would be… standing before me… my “HER”. After having raised 2 beautiful daughters, still raising my 15 year old son, having gone through the throws of marriage, a difficult divorce, and more, I can stand tall, and feel good about the fact that I am still here, stronger than ever, more ambitious than ever, more beautiful than I’ve ever seen myself, enjoying freedoms I haven’t experienced in decades, and more important than anything I've just mentioned…I am loved. By Jesus, my family, true friends and a most wonderful man. But the reflection I see in the mirror does not completely reveal my “HER”. I see my “HER” in a slightly blurry picture, almost in focus. In a short time, the picture will clear, and I will be sharp and in full view. Amazing even to myself is that fact that I am still working on "HER".

Aside from going through the ups and downs of life, which everyone has to experience, my “HER” began to reveal herself after I made a few personal changes.

#1 was to clean my house of all negativity. That meant dirt, people, dead plants, chipped cups and plates, broken electronics, everything that was not alive, inoperable or in opposition had to go!

#2 was to change my environment. I painted my living room, bought new furniture, turned my back yard into a social environment and now I LIVE in my house. Prior to that I was a prisoner in my home, relegated to my bedroom (jokingly called the apartment) because I was unhappy with my life.

#3 was to make sure I remained relevant. Technology changed the way business is handled and if you are an entrepreneur, you had better make sure you know what’s going on. Since communications was my business and Obama said he’s giving away loans for school, then why not get degreed in marketing communications. (Still in progress)

Once the clutter was removed, I began to see myself again. My business began to take new form, and I could breathe. For once I could inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Everyday my “HER” became clearer and clearer. She continues to become clearer as I evolve. Although I am not acknowledging the image that I see in the mirror everyday as my “HER”, I do see “HER” within that image, and most importantly I feel “HER”. And because I feel "HER", I am content with matters of the heart, my thoughts are in alignment, and my actions compliment what’s in my mind and heart. The reason my “HER” is not completely clear is because she is an accomplished older woman. She has stories to tell of her life that are filled with all that was promised, because her dues are paid. I see her still about “HER” business of helping other people. I have always been about helping my fellow man/woman/boy/girl/dog/cat… LOL Some people have told me that it’s a problem of mine. I should get help because I’m always trying to help! LOL , but it’s rewarding to me.

I would imagine most women my age would have already become her “HER”, but I’ve still got things to accomplish. Although this gray haired beautiful woman is fuzzy in appearance, I see “HER” taking form. I see “HER” smile and it is revealing an even greater happiness. One that awaits me, as long as I stay focused and uncompromising.

Love and Respect to all women living and celebrating their “HER”story.

Peace and blessings,

H = Humbled
E = Eternally Grateful
R = Reinvented

What is being black?

2011-06-29T00:50:00.000-07:00

I responded to a blog post on The Human Parade that asked thE question "WHAT IS BEING BLACK?" Many answers came to mind, but this is what I wrote:

It just so happens that I am a black woman living in Southern California after having lived in other states, as well as other countries. This is a very thought provoking question that I challenge other black people to answer (especially our youth), just to get a grip on reality.

Being black is such a broad statement. Being a black man and being a black woman will garner completely different responses. My favorite is being black in America. Everything that is considered “wrong” with being black begins and ends with Europe and America. The driving forces behind the institution of socialization.

In this country, being Black means that a Black American citizen in 2011 is still victimized by a structural arrangement of privileges, resources and power that do not include us. The strong willed pushes the envelope.

There are corporate glass ceilings that only get higher for black men and women who have a desire to work their way to the top. There is no good ol’ boy network for us. For this reason we promote entrepreneurship.

Being a black woman in America means you are not considered beautiful wearing your natural hair. In order to be accepted, we use dangerous chemicals to straighten our hair or wear weaves and wigs to cover up in order to appease the masses. As we morph into a new age, the media has already begun to promote more and more black women wearing their natural hair. Watch some of the more recent national commercials. We are hoping this will open the eyes of those who are glamorized by mass media control.

In the early 90s I spent 4 years living in South Korea and Thailand. Being black in Korea meant that they were empathetic about our past and knew that historically, we were kings and queens in our own land before being tricked and enslaved. The level of respect and hospitality was unmatched. I have stories to tell, you can probably imagine!

Being black in Thailand meant I was everything they’ve ever heard in living color. I was supposed to know how to sing and dance. To them it was innate. (in my case, they were right). Another expectation was that Black men were born well endowed (they have phallic sculptures and sanctuaries all over the place for fertility prayers). If you were a tall, well built, strong and a handsome black man, you were almost a God to women and men alike. The blatant racism that was experienced was not towards black Americans, but rather a reversal of racism existed. Especially where the British were concerned.

We have work to do in this country. The great thing is that we (blacks) don’t have to do a thing about it. Time is taking care of everything. We just need to love ourselves, our earth and each other. Whether I sing songs of praise for our beauty, strength and resolve, i live with the truth that is the color of my skin every day. What is being black? Being alive.

The New Racism on Television

2010-02-11T03:19:00.000-08:00

The video that I am about to share with you is something that I just stumbled upon while checking out 3BAAS, a PR firm. While on their page, I saw this interesting video about the set agenda of those individuals, in media, in charge of deciding how the rest of the world sees black people. The narrator spoke about the history, images and lack of power that Black people and other minorities have had on television, which was very similar to some of the things I have stated in the past. In America, the depictions are stereotypical in every imaginable way, without any exclusion. All of our so called "secrets" that only blacks shared with each other, are now open to main stream criticism and discombobulation.

Listen to what is being presented to you, and understand that the creator's intent is to educate you, your children, your neighbors' children and other adults that are concerned about our youth. We must understand our history in order to know where we are headed. I originally created and posted this blog in honor of Black History Month. Since there is so much untold black history, I saw an opportunity to spread the wealth by posting rare historic firsts, inventions and Notables on Facebook. We must redirect our children's focus towards more positive representations of ourselves, thus dispelling myths, negative stereotypes and profiling.

If we do not want our children to fall prey to negative imagery, it's lure and ill intent, we need to read between the lines, and remember that the rules of engagement do not change. We need to maintain the same level of commitment and courage that it took to get us where we are today. In the name of all that was sacrificed and still runs through our veins, we owe it to our future generations.

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